Christian Couples Counseling

Reinforce your relationship when the flames grow dim.

Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful picture of God’s love for his people. The husband leaves his father and mother to pledge oneness for his wife. The two become one flesh in a unique form of unity to only the two.

They make a covenant with God and each other and promise to keep their relationship sacred and holy for each other. From their loving union, the bride takes on the groom’s identity in his last name, brings children into the world, and raises them in safe, loving homes. But something terrible has happened to marriages since the first marriage between Adam and Eve, and if you’re honest, it’s also happening in yours.

When you first married, you and your new spouse rode off into the sunset full of excitement and joy. Nothing felt more vital than the love you shared, and the possibilities of your future together seemed endless. But as time passed, you’ve noticed the shine started to dull, the bright flames of love began to dim, and you’ve gone from falling in love to fighting with your love.

Quirky things your spouse did while dating are now becoming annoying problems. Speed bumps that were easier to overlook are now frustrating roadblocks. As time goes on, unaddressed issues grow into consistent miscues and giant heart wounds.

Catch the little foxes in the vineyard.

Often, people believe that catastrophic things cause most problems in a marriage. Affairs, abuse, and criminal activity are huge issues that need to be addressed and can topple solid marriages as legitimate threats.

Be alert, though, because the wisest enemies attack in subtle ways. In Song of Solomon 2:15, King Solomon wrote about catching the little foxes that get into the vineyard and spoil the vines. The little sneaky things can get past your defenses and cause as much damage as the catastrophic things.

Many marriages have foxes in their vineyard and suffer from what’s sometimes called “death by a thousand cuts.” It’s not one giant event but hundreds of small behaviors and events that go unaddressed and add up.

Three-point shots and dunks get all the basketball highlights, but games are often won and lost at the free-throw line. It’s the little things that go a long way.

Marriage is like an organ transplant.

Have you ever considered what marriage and organ transplants have in common? When someone needs a new kidney or liver, much science is involved in getting the human body to accept an organ it didn’t initially have as part of its system.

Part of our body’s design is to have the immune system attack and destroy things that aren’t supposed to be in the body. But the immune system, by nature, doesn’t know that a transplanted organ is supposed to be there, no matter how much your mind wants it to be there. So, it’s a natural response to fight and destroy an organ, even if it is supposed to be of help.

The Bible says in Genesis 2:24 that “a man will leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Becoming one flesh happens in marriage, but STAYING one flesh requires so much more.

When married, another person enters your system with their history and perspective. The natural reaction is to reject parts or all of this union because sin has entered the world and wreaks havoc on our relationships.

The medicine is essential.

You need to take a particular medicine to give the body and the organs time to accept each other. Without the medicine, your body’s immune system is much more likely to have an organ transplant rejection.

I believe that scripture is the medicine, and counseling helps it go down.

God’s word and good therapy act as medicine.

Scripture has much to say about successful marriage. For example, 1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to “live with their wives in an understanding way.”

Marriage counseling at Luminous Christian Counseling starts by first striving to understand the history of your relationship and what thoughts and feelings are present in your current situation.

Then, we’ll use proven psychological tools, techniques, and resources to help you make a practical plan to improve your relationship. This process will help you go from surviving your difficult marriage to thriving in your blessed marriage.

Spousal rejection has consequences.

Did you know that the body won’t always reject the organ immediately?

Sometimes, the rejection is immediate, but chronic rejection can happen many years afterward. There are signs and symptoms to look for, but the immune system slowly damages the transplanted organ until it dies.

If you’re seeing the signs of your relationship withering and fading, please don’t wait until you’re experiencing total marital failure. Starting at the first sign of trouble is the best time to work on it.

Call today to keep your relationship alive and well!

Get on the phone and call me today for your free 15-minute consultation.

We’ll plan together and get you scheduled so you can nurse your marriage back to total health.